wubawuba's Diaryland Diary

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Get Out

Again. I am back here, and so happy this place is still here. Last post I made my boyfirend moved back to Russia. Now I moved to Russia and got married! It's crazy.

Last post I also wrote that I would write here more, maybe I will. I don't do much here as I don't speak Russian very well, and don't know anyone. So much freetime! So much it could kill me.

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So I have a goal right now, really two goals. One learn Russian; working on that. Two, go for a walk. Andrey works all day all week and I get tired of sitting the house all day. I feel like I'm killing my brain sitting here so much, or like in a cage. But I have this huge fear of walking alone.

Most of my fear is just silly. Like I'm going to fall in a hole or trip on the sidewalk. My other fear is someone talking to me. The other part of it is opening the door and walking out alone. I could stand in front of my door for an hour just trying to feel ready and never go.

Just thinking about it now is making me feel uncomfortable. Its like I need to have a plan to leave the house. Map out a route. Sounds stupid but maybe it would be good for at least the first time out. But I have to get out first.

1:44 a.m. - September 23, 2016

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