wubawuba's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .... My head is driving me crazy. I can not stand it anymore. I have been stressing out all semester over classes and papers and art. All of that plus a relationship. The relationship part seems to be going down the drain. Im not sure Im in love anymore, or do I just think that Im not because I do not feel good? Im not sure , I think maybe it is a mix of both. I also realized that the saying , If you don't love your self you can not love another (however it goes) is VERY true. I do not love myself far from it so why did i think I could love my boyfriend? We have lasted a long time almost a year (in June), or maybe it just feels really long for being a first time relationship for the both of us. I want to get help but If I really want to get this help I can not be in a relationship. I feel that if I were in one it would hinder my process but I dont know. I could be very wrong and that's another thing Im not sure what to do. Break it off or not? I dont want to loose him just yet but then I do, and I want us to still be friends. Sometimes now I cant stand when he touches me or kisses me. I don't know whats wrong with me. All that I really know is that I want to stop hating myself, doing horrible things to myself, so I can be with someone else. 3:41 p.m. - May 03, 2009 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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